UNIT 16

1	Intercultural marriages are on the rise across the globe.  The problems associated with any marriage are multiple, but when two people from different cultures get married, numerous additional problems are thrown into the mix.  Some decisions may be relatively simple, such as what type of food to eat, where to live, or what holidays to celebrate.  Other choices will be more problematic, as the couple tries to deal with cultural differences in gender-role expectations, conflict management, emotional display, values, social behaviors, childcare practices, extended family relations, and many, many more issues.  As in any marriage, communication is the key to managing these challenges and finding mutually agreeable resolutions.  But to achieve effective communication in a cross-cultural marriage, the couple must deal with the problem of multiple languages.
2	One of the first decisions will be which language the couple will use to communicate with each other.  Unless each is fluent in the otherfs native tongue, this decision can create issues related to identity and power, as well as complicating daily communication.  In some cases, the couple may resort to a third language they have in common.  If, for instance, in a mixed marriage the husband is from Germany and the wife is from Spain, and neither speaks the otherfs language, they may choose to use a third language, such as English or French.  Power imbalances can arise from the ability of only one partner to speak the language of the couplefs country of residence.  In these situations, the non-speaker may be forced to become excessively dependent on the mate, which can affect self-respect and identity.
3	Another potential linguistic difficulty in a mixed marriage centers on determining which parentfs language to use to raise the children.  If only one parentfs language is used, the culture of the other parent will be treated as less important.  In many cross-cultural marriages, this problem has been solved by using a gone parent, one languageh strategy.  This involves each parent speaking his or her native language, or another selected language, to the children.  Thus, the children are raised in two languages, becoming bilingual, and the cultures of both parents are recognized and passed on.
4	Our discussion has focused more on the potential difficulties of an intercultural marriage than the advantages.  We hope you are not discouraged by this, because these problems are easily offset by the rewards.  For instance, dealing with the many difficulties can bring a cross-cultural couple closer together, resulting in greater intimacy.  Additionally, sharing each otherfs cultures will likely broaden perspectives and create a richness that is difficult to realize when living in a single culture.